tsk.

Damn phone has a character limit. Can't post long posts. :/ Weekend was fun. Jammed on sat, then went to buy guitar with kwoky, then went for dinner, then sheesha at arab. Can't upload the photos now it will kill my bill. Oh something good happened this week.. I got my contacts yesterday! 1st time go my life i'm wearing them! It was so exciting. All thanks to aaron's recommendation. The shop's really good, grand opticals, at jurong. Top class service. Will blog more, if i ever get to go home that is.

Doing cos is damn sian..

Sian. Stuck in camp with a psp running low on batt, again. Tomorrow need to stay in, again. Saturday need to go for some shit run, again. Stuff are due this week, again. Why must shit befall me the week before my block leave? I really hate serving the army. Can't wait to ord. I enlisted hoping to get a job i'll love doing. Didn't happen. Sometimes i wonder why i didn't keng go bmt. Could've been a storeman. Or a driver. I've always wanted to be a driver. Oh well, at least last weekend was fun.

Heh

Oh yeah. I had a bout of arty-fartyism in the office just now. Check out the shots I did:

Oops..

I just realised how long I have not been posting.

Oh well. Lets see.. Where shall I begin.

Oh. On thursday I went to town with cindy and seok. Seok looked like a christmas tree. See?

I can't even see her in this pic :P

We also bummed around..


And we also saw the wrongest thing ever, at the muji in paragon:

Teddy humping a dog!

I blew nearly $300 on that day.. Spent $135 on a 1GB micro memory stick for my K800i, bought a braun buffel wallet and a braun buffel key holder totalling to about $120, and $40 on a funky t-shirt. Cindy bought underwear for her boyfriend and seok bought.. an oreo cheese cake.

I LOVE my new wallet and key holder! Check them out! (And the collage, heh. New program, picasa)


Then came friday. A day of funny faces!


It was MP Command's family day, and the whole unit went to escape theme park to play.. I stuck around kwoky and bx, and we queued at the go kart for an hour. We played with other SB guys too, and damn, it was fun! At least for me. I floored the poor kart all the way, even down hill, and thru the last hairpin corner. The kart can fly! For awhile, maybe a split second. Oversteer wasn't anything I couldn't handle, I'm used to it after how I drive my parents' cars. I didn't do very well though, started off 2nd and ended at 3rd. Was behind ernest all the time, couldn't overtake him. Harpal was 3rd and he became 1st. Poor kwoky was alone most the time, we said we would wait but harpal said go when we were halfway up so I don't know what happen. Bx.. oh bx, bx.. he was bouncing around the whole track! He kept hitting the walls, and it almost seemed like he didn't know where to go. I will never sit in his car if he ever learns how to drive.


Met eugene for a movie later, watched open season. DAMN FUNNY SHOW! Porcupine: Buddddyyy?????.... Freaky little spiked fella. I also bought a card reader cos my old one can't access memory stick pro. The new one's smaller, and easier to use. I can finally read my psp's memory stick! Uber fast transfer. Later in the evening I met an army friend of mine for arcade pool, had fun crapping around with my camera. I reached home at about 1230, stuck around online for awhile, played around with my psp, and slept around 330. And guess what, I woke up the next day at

430PM!!!!!! A good 3/4 of the day gone already! I was so tired I didn't even know what time it was, I thought it was only 12! Oh well. Supposed to meet fi for dunno what at esplanade, and I did. Seok and kwoky came down too. Had dinner at carl's, and went to watch peepshow at the esplanade. I used to play for them, a long long time ago. I left because I wanted to concentrate on TEG. They are popular now, playing at the esplanade, having good equipment, playing to a decent sized crowd, releasing an album soon. I'm not jealous, it's just that.. I look at TEG, and I realise that we haven't really progressed much except being rather good at covering iron maiden. And now we have hit a wall, we don't have a singer, and we're stuck. We're looking for a replacement singer that can sing like bruce dickinson, but we can't, and besides looking, we're just sitting around. Sometimes I wonder, why not we just get some average joe for a singer, and start doing originals, catered to his voice? Or have a leader that will give the band a push in some general direction. Or both. Yea, peepshow's songs are simple. But they're somewhere. The stuff we play are more technical. And we are nowhere. Sometimes I wonder, what makes more sense, playing easy songs that everyone will like, or playing difficult songs that nobody listens to. Bleh~

Oh well, after peepshow, we went drinking at breko, $10 for 2 bottles of beer, pretty darned cheap!


Then came sunday, then monday.. which is today. AND I GOT TO DRIVE A VAN TODAY!!!!!! :D:D:D It slid a little when I dropped to 3rd gear from 4th while braking into a corner. My friend freaked out. It was raining so the wet road might be the contributing factor, but according to my friend using engine braking on vans will cause the tires to lose grip. Weird. Oh well. FUN!

Aw yeah. Check me out today.

Don't I look sexy? =D

Anyway, the rashes are disappearing already. My mom stayed home to take care of me today. My dad heard of some traditional way of curing urticuria which is to rub rice wine on the rashes and to drink black bean soup, so my mom was helping me apply the rice wine the whole day, and to reminding me to drink water and all.. Love my mom and dad :)

My body is still slightly swollen though. Now, the bottom of my feet and my palms hurt. The joints of my fingers hurt too. And yeah, swollen lips. Oh I got another 2 days of MC yesterday, but also no point cos I spend most of the time sleeping..

And I can't play the guitar or my PSP with hurting palms and fingers :(

Got a FUCKKINGGG bad rash. Fucking man.

I say again. I don't know what I ate to have caused this. It started with a little itch on my neck, then my arms. My arms then proceeded to look like I was bitten by a million mosquitoes. It spread to my legs, and torso, and now my fuck face. Yes, my fuck face.

Anyway, enough talk, I shall just let you see what I look like now. This was what I looked like yesterday. Viewer discretion strongly adviced.

Mosquito bites? Noo..


I swear, there were a lot of lumps on this hand. They all joined up together. Yes, it looks swollen now.


My thigh.


Now, this is what I look like today. My fuck face is swollen, and I'm not very happy.

Looks like some viral infection eh?


Heh.


Am I grossing you out yet?


Now for the finale! My swollen fuck face!


I know, I look hideous. I hope it earns me an MC. I'm also having a headache and I can't show many expresions on my face cos I feel my skin stretching when I do so. Feels like my face might just blow up anytime. The mother of my branch told me to see a doctor, and to take a jab before it gets worse or I'll end up like ah tan. She's so mean.

Anyway I'm a little backlogged on posting, I have not posted our guy's night out having supper at boon lay, and our jam at my place. Soon, I will, if I get an MC for tomorrow, which I'm pretty sure I will judging on how hideous I look.

I'm so impressed with my phone!

I can view blogs on it! Check it out!







Really had a pleasant surprise this morning when I was playing around with my phone trying to surf the net on it. That was what I was doing the whole day practically. Uncle lee was not around..

And that bugger asked me to bring my phone bill today. And he didn't come. Lucky I didn't bring. Or is it lucky he didn't come. I dunno.

Met lynn for dinner after work today :) Poor girl's working so hard, looking so tired. Anyway, had a good meal and a nice chat. Happy! Haha..

Had an eventful weekend!

Gah I'm too tired now to blog in detail.. Anyway, here goes.

Saturday, went to get my new phone!!! :D:D:D



My lovely new K800i. In brown. Damn sexay colour man. Why did I get this phone? Cos it's a cybershot phone. Meaning, gosu camera. I just bought a camera with a built in handphone. :D Then for the rest of the day I was cam whoring.. Not myself, but others. Check it out.

Went to Wan's sister's place with jason for a hari raya visit..



Wan's cute nephew..



Looks like wan right?

After that jason and i went down to wala wala to meet up with seok, chuan, sebas, aaron and alene. Heard some funky band play a shit load of pop songs. Took pictures of everything but the band, so that tells you a lot about them eh.

Chuan getting blinded by my phone's powerful flash, seok looking.. like seok



Us, or arses, whatever you wanna call us.. Me, jason, and you3 tube4



The beautiful couple, and the 3rd party :O jason, alene and aaron



Guess who



Beer!



The green bottles are the 2 for 1 promo beers. Forgot what it is called but it's german and it's damn good. Had carlsberg today and couldn't compare. $12 for 2 bottles, is that cheap or what?

More pictures but I lazy to upload all.. Those who want drop me a message and I'll send. I need mich's collage program soon.

Then today, played msn games with mich the whole afternoon, then went for dinner at chomp chomp, and after that went to alene's place to chill and smoke seesha. Actually supposed to go to some flea market place with sebas and seok but seok pulled out last minute. Basket her.

And that concludes my weekend. Haven't had such an eventful weekend for a long time. I'm neglecting work but fuck, I don't care anymore.

Damn funky day today..

Damn boring day at work, again. I was sleeping EVERYWHERE, from the bus, to the fire safety talk, to the bunk, to the office.. TILL..

*sms*
Me: Yankee Kilo to Golf Lima, when are you free this week?
GL: Golf Lima. I'm free only today. Location at Yew Tee.
Me: YES!!!! LET'S GO OUT!!! I DON'T WANT TO STAY IN CAMP!!!!!! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW

And we did. Gosh this is the *only* part of my job which I like. We went to causeway point and tried the OHH SOO GOSU Westone UM1 and UM2. UM1 was like, ok, soso, $150? Then we tried the UM2 and :O were all over our faces. Detail was superb throughout the whole frequency range, and the staging was beautiful too. The UM1 in comparison was weak in bass, and the staging was not as pleasant as the UM2. The difference is that the UM2 has 2 drivers while the UM1 has 1. UM2 price? A nice fat $450. Geoff and I already decided that come january, we will buy that thing together. HAW.

Check them out here: http://www.westone.com/music/universal.html

Then we watched The Covenant. Starting was cool, nice effects, hot chicks, nice car, but it got a little stupid towards the end. The ending was really rushed, the same symptoms I see in many movies nowadays. The way they brought out the antagonist was too sudden as well. Not too bad, there was still the hot chick. Whose friend had nice perky nipples :P

Then we went to meet Lynn.. Heh. Sebas should know who she is. Anyway, I FINALLY signed up the savings plan with her. Haha.. Don't want to break her heart. :P And she was sooo cute la. Having dinner with her tomorrow. Yay!

And then we bumped into another prudential sales person. She was sooo unnatural, and really fake.

She: Hey, do you know which bus goes to JB?
Me and GL: No.
She: Oh ok. What school are you guys from?
Me: NP.
She: Oh I see. What course in nanyang?
Me and GL: NGEE ANN.
She: Ah ok.

Then she asked asked what course, bla bla, are we working, tell her we're in NS, then this
She: What do you do in NS?
GL: Oh I'm in the navy
She: Oh is it? Got go out on ship?
GL: Got.. Every few weeks, go overseas, then got allowance of a few thousand

I almost burst out laughing cos that's soooo not true. Then this

She: Oh, so how much do you save a month?
GL: $400+
She: Then you?
Me: $74.38

:D

She: Oh? You also signed up for the savings plan ah?
GL: Ya.
She: When?
GL: A very long time back.
She: Then you?
Me: Ya.
She: When?
Me: Just only.

Then the kicker

She: Oh.. looks like I was 1 step too late. Ok la, bye!

I was there thinking, walau, she's at least a thousand steps too late la. Nice try. And she didn't even know who Lynn was. Gosh.. Msged Lynn later and she said it must be the new girl. Dunno if I should have tho, skalli she think I'm flirting with other girls :( I'm not.

Oh, if any of you are interested in a savings plan cos you can't save for shit and you need someone to help keep your money for you, look for me. No, I'm not keeping your money for you, but prudential will.

Link of the day! Or week. Or month. Whatever. http://www.flickr.com/photos/26606036@N00/
Finding faces. Damn damn cute.

Wassup with red Mazda 3s?

Go to any busy road, take a stone and throw, if you hit a Mazda 3, chances are it will be red. In my camp alone there are already TWO red Mazda 3s. Everyday on the road, when I see a Mazda 3, it will ALSO be red. I don't get it. Only today did I manage to spot *1* black one, which is pathetic. 1st, red colour for any car, besides a Ferrari, is fugly. Second, almost every Mazda 3? What, Mazda cannot afford to offer other colours ah? Maybe they get their red pigmentation from their female staffs' monthly flow. Free one.

Anyway, how many fire extinguishers do you think it takes to fly? Find out here. Courtesy of Sebas.
http://www.glumbert.com/media/firefly

..

Yes, I, of all people should have known. That's what I believed in for the longest time. Till all these shit happened, which changed my perception completely. That's why I was damn disappointed.

I will be lying if I agreed with you that you are not into and dedicated to the band. On the average, you can play more stuff than me. You play the guitar every day. I played once a week back then when we were still jamming. Now, I play once every 2 weeks. I will also be lying if I say I enjoy every single jamming session we've had. To be honest, every session, same few songs, same solos. Who won't be sian? But I don't let this affect me or the band. Because there's a purpose to jam, to keep us together and to practice, to be tight. To maintain the standard we've tried so hard to reach. I don't just say I'm bored and I want to take a break or leave beacause I'm sian. I know there will be better times. Everytime we nail a new song, or come up with an original, the kick is there again. That's why I was pushing the band to start with originals. That's why we're setting up the jam area in my house, to start somewhere. I think of the long term. It all boils down to perception. How you want to percieve the situation, in a negative or positive way. I don't see why you should percieve negatively if it makes you feel down.

So if you still care, please, stop us from carrying on without you. That's the least you can do right now. And if you still treat me as your best friend, talk to me. You know that I will always be there for you. I don't see why you should let stupid things like character differences get in the way.

PS: Have you ever thought that you can feel better just by not taking a break and jamming your heart and ass out?

.

Dude. We were never depressed or bored because we were taking a break. We were depressed because of the uncertainty of whether or not you still want to play for us. Whether or not this band meant anything to you or not, after putting in so much effort together and bringing us this far. When I said I missed jamming, I missed the time we had having fun playing music together. It was not an individualistic remark that I wanted to jam. But what was your response?

I'm still taking a break.
I was never interested in guitar.
I force myself to jam.
Even if I continue playing it's just temporary for you guys to find a replacement.

How not to be upset? It just tells us that you can't be bothered about TEG at all, all the way from the start. All the fun we had together was just a lie, a mask you put on while you are with us. That's what we saw it as. That upset us. A lot. We feel cheated. Just when things were picking up, this had to happen. Having to start from square one. Feeling bad for Wan, who quit all his side projects to put his heart and soul into the band, only to find out that it all has been a cruel joke.

I don't know about you, but I'm not the kind of person that can go enjoying and playing around when something in my life is seriously wrong. I can never enjoy in peace. I don't think the rest of us can either.

Neither am I the sort that will play my friends out. I prioritise my friends over myself, each and every one of them. If I have to suffer in order for my friends to be happy, I will. Even if I'm dead tired and stressed due to work, I'll still be there. Taking a break has never crossed my mind because I don't want to make the rest upset. I would even risk my life to speed down to jam if I'm late. If you think sitting in my car was scary, you haven't seen me drive when I'm alone. I drove so hard my patch cable broke. That's why on the gig there was no sound.

Simply because of one thing, when you guys are happy, I'm happy. Maybe it's different for you. As long as you are happy, that's enough. Screw the rest of your friends.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Jason, you don't get it..

He wants us to relax la, and find other better things to do, cos jamming is uninteresting and boring. He's not hurt or what, he just wants to relax, and he wants us to relax as well, and be positive about it. He wants us to learn about how to quit playing in a band, and find better things to do, like being alone, finding new hobbies, have positive thinking, learning to be patient, and not miss jamming at all. :)

Gosh, it sounds like so much fun! Can't wait to try it out. Let's disband TEG, shall we? It's gonna be so much fun, and a wonderful learning experience! =D No wait, have to do it slowly, have to be patient. Hmm.. Jason can break his sticks one at a time, maybe about 1 stick per hour. I can start by cutting my strings one at a time too, then continue by throwing my pedals out of the window, then slowly sawing my pedal board into maybe like 10 pieces. Lots of patience is needed. Then we'll meet up, and punch each other in the face, but at a relaxed pace, at about 1 punch per hour as well. Slowly.. Must relax. Then we shall slowly walk away. Maybe just roll on the road, to relax and take time..

New bed!

Haw, me new Muji bed arrived today! My dad got me new feather pillows and a quilt from ikea too!



The colour combi is a little off, pardon me, dad's taste for colour is a little questionable :S I'll be getting a grey bedsheet from ikea for the right combi, hopefully soon.

And here's my funky cupboard, or shelf, or cupshelf, whatever you wanna call it. My own original idea =D



Since I left all my clothes on top of the cupboard (quite short) the last time I had one, I might as well have a shelf. So yeah.

See how spacious my room is now!



My old bed (or mattress) fits nicely between my new bed and the computer table perfectly! So basically if I pull it out we can roll all over the room =D

What sia.

Wants me to learn myself, he says. Wants me to take a break and for once, not over react. Wants me to get a hobby and positive thinking.

Ok loh. You sian of guitar, want to leave only ma. Leave loh.. Relek.. Aiya, why not just disband TEG. Band only what, right? No problems man.. Then I shall find new hobbies, and will be positive about breaking up the band we all took so much effort to build up. What's a new and nice hobby to pick up.. Hmm.. Maybe screwing around with different club girls every week? Sounds like fun.

Then I'll go alone, cos I think too much and can't live alone, so I'll go clubbing alone. But harder to get laid when going alone leh.. Hmm.. Nevermind.. Don't think.. Can one.. Just relax..

Then I'll sell off all my guitar equipment, and use the money to buy booze, drink, relax, and get a nice screw at the end of it all.. Ahh...

Sigh..

Once again, the weekend is over. I wouldn't say it was fruitful, but I wouldn't say I wasted my time either.

Met up with jason, wan and seok on sat, and sebas today. Had a little fun, but I didn't enjoy fully cos I was troubled. I hate to enjoy when I'm troubled.

All I know, is that when I go back to office tomorrow, I'll probably be dead.

Lets just say I didn't work today (sunday). Why? Cos kena fly aeroplane/kite/bird/lanjiao. So I stayed home most the time, and went out for dinner and drumming with sebas in the evening. I miss having a car to use for the weekend. I feel so lost without one. I can't work properly, and travelling is retarded (slow).

I could have driven to office today to find work to do, but fuck, no car. By the time I travelled there basically can go home already. And it's like so far, fucking hell every day I travel there sunday also want me to go there.

And for saturday, also kena fly aeroplane. Cb, I went all the down do BB and waited, called the fella, never pick up, sms, no reply. And I fucking SLEPT under the void deck for almost 1 1/2 hours. Nobody pitied me. But I can't blame anyone, cos everyone has problems of their own too.

I'll just face the music tomorrow. That's going to be my mentality from now. Enjoy my weekend, face the music later. Later things later settle. Even if I work up to standard, I don't enjoy any form of rest or off. KNNCCB STA&& L** CH%% BO## will always find ways to give me MORE things to do on top of the things I already have to do, taking away any reason whatsoever to ask for time off, because I have not completed any of them, and I have no fucking intention to do so, because he will give me even more things to do after I have completed them. When everybody leaves at 12 or 430, I stay till 6. Work well for september and I will consider giving you your 'privileges', he said. Fucking october going to end already and I still book out at 6.

Privileges are basically 1/2 day offs and early book outs for hitting the target on weekends. I hit target also don't get rest, so I fucking hit for what? I might as well don't work.

My off should never be considered privileges loh. Fucking work on saturday and sunday, I should be ENTITLED off. Now do you guys know how fucked up my life is?

Talking about life, I realised that I have lost all meaning in life. Some time back, the meaning to life was my band. There were weekends to look forward to. Now that it's falling apart, there's no meaning anymore. There's nothing to look forward to, no more jamming whatsoever. I dread weekends now. And my dear bro fi is happily saying that he's still on vacation from guitar. Dear fi, whatever you are doing to yourself, affects others too. Please think about it. The world is not just about you. Taking yourself out of an equation doesn't solve anything, it just makes things worse. Your break from guitar makes me want to kill myself. The only reason I don't is for my mom and dad. Think about it. We've been caring a lot for you, don't you think you should care about us too?

I'm just waiting to get into trouble so I don't have to work at this shit place anymore. I'd rather be a storeman or a clerk than be a dog of SB. To my dear staffs and sirs, fuck me, and us up all you want, but at the end of the day, it just shows how much you don't care. You can want the world, but nothing will happen if you don't have the 7th core value: Care for soldiers. You have been the worst commanders I've ever encountered in my whole life in NS. For all the PCs I've been with, from BMT to SISPEC to SPEC 2, they all cared, in some way or another. They've put their soldiers before themselves. You put yourself before the soldiers. All of you, selfish bastards. Blame us all you want, but if the upper heirachy is fucked, so will be the men.

I actually wanted to have a short post but it ended up being so long. Mich was saying that they are all very long. But I hope they are entertaining.

Reflect, all of you, on how good your life is now. To all those I work with on weekends, please, don't make my life miserable. I just want to stay alive.

Try this on, straightjacket feeling
So maybe I won't be alone

Yay!

I'm back to life again, after 1/2 a week of seemingly endless torture. You know, I can never understand why everyone else has so many off days but I don't seem to get any, and I stay in camp longer than anyone else on a daily basis. Sigh. Oh well, had fun today.

Jason asked me out, and I asked seok and sebas out. Sebas didn't pick up his phone at first because it was on silent. Jason couldn't meet us suddenly cos he had to attend ibsen's dad's bbq, so I went to meet up with seok 1st. Sebas finally called me back after seeing maybe a million missed calls (maybe 10 or 20 la.) and we decided to have dinner at adam food centre. When me and seok reached adam, the sebas called and said he is not having dinner with us cos he ate at home. Sebas, sebas.. Cos of him I couldn't try out the gosu food at ghim moh :( Anyway, i had dinner with seok, met up with sebas (he took a cab down, at least he has a heart :P), then they came over to my place to chill and play n64. Had fun bashing each other up in various games, heh. Then I did a really stupid thing, I forgot to offer them drinks, and after awhile seok said "Eh i'm going down to get drinks what you all want?" Paisei siaaa.... But in the end I also had nothing to drink at home so me and seok rode out to shell to buy. She's so funny, she's scared of riding, and my riding, but she wanted to ride out in the 1st place. Haha.. silly girl.. We then had vodka coke, bummed around, played the guitar and recorded kiss me. We were trying to do an overdub for backup vox when jason arrived. Chilled a bit more, watched seok's (technically chuan's) DT Live at Bukodan DVD for a bit, and sent everyone home. That's the way to chill for the weekend man. If only I didn't have to work tomorrow and everyone could just stay over.. Damn.. My place really like chalet now, but cannot make too much noise at night only..

By the way, sebas pronounces youtube as you3 tube4. Like maciam scolding someone. Lol.

And my blog title's still funny. How ah. =
And about mos burger, ok la, she still talks to me. But she thinks i'm as bad as some swine. She didn't say so herself tho, read it off somewhere.. So, is there a hidden agenda? Some plan of hers? I dunno..

Kan sian.

Fuck man. I typed an entry on tuesday. A really long one about the long weekend. And someone at blogger must have been masturbating all over the servers as there was tremendous lag and I couldn't post. I copied the whole chunk into a notepad, and now I lost it. CB.

Anyway, the past few days have been damn sian, maybe besides last night, when i went to chill with sebas at this nice bar near my place. It's called bullfrog, it's damn chill, and the drinks are cheap. Kilkenny is at $9.80 a pint from 4-9pm. A pity they don't have erdinger. We chatted up with a waitress there called siti, who we thought was chinese. Her pseudo accent ah.. CMI. Sebas got turned off after he knew she was malay and only 1/4 chinese. Bloody racist. Later saufi kill you then you know. We also debated about fate, felt like i'm back in poly for that moment. We're also gonna work a little project, making electronic music, somewhere along the lines of Postal Service, working directly from home. We decided to pull in seoky to do vox for us, which she willingly obliged. Yay! Now sebas has to do research on beat machines and shit. Good luck.

Life has been boring this week, meaningless maybe. Day to day, go to camp, nothing much to look forward to at home, want to play guitar also reach home too late (considering the volume i play at), nobody's online, nobody's free, weekend also nothing to look forward to, cos the band is in some sort of a lull period now, PSP also lazy to play cos I suck at games, and I'm too hum/tired to bring it to camp cos i scared kena check or i'll just sleep all the way on the bus..

Sian.

Yea. That's what i feel now. Sian. Damn fucking sian.

2 more months to swift sport.. When oh when will january come? When oh when will i get to see my white beauty?

You know, sometimes, I wonder why I went down to mos burger that day. I went down cos I wanted to see her. Because of that want, it led to a series of events that made her not even want to talk to me anymore. Cos I'm a bastard in her eyes. I probably am.

I hate myself.
I lost a good friend. Just like that.
Even if I can never be with her, we could at least be good friends.
I've lost that, even.
And with that, I also lost another potential good friend.

Wtf are you doing yk??

Anyway, since my blog title was so funny, I guess I shall change it. Lets see if it's nice.

Blogger has been slow

So I have not been posting. Anyway, things have been getting better. I went out with jason yesterday to buy his spanking new creative mp3 player. It's a ZEN V Plus, with 2GB of space, a built in FM tuner and the ability to play videos. It's extremely easy to use, with many useful functions, and it's a million times better than the LE-MON ipod nano clone we saw at Giant, which could not even be used properly due to the crap response time of the device. Thankfully I was sharp enough to notice the tiny little fella, and knew instantly it was special. The salesperson didn't even know how to sell the thing to us, and was stating how lousy it was and how frequently it crashes, and was trying to sell to us some other ridiculous MP3 player that didn't even have a colour screen, and didn't even have enough power for us to try.

We also managed to talk to fi yesterday, and the problems have more or less been settled. Things are not settled 100% as of yet as we need to know what fi is thinking, and that has to wait till the day when everyone is free AND he's willing to tell, which will probably be in a long time. Anyway, TEG is going to take a short break, and shall concentrate on this:

Yes, I have revived my old N64! In a very ghetto way, but it works! The white thing below the n64 is a device for me to run games I've downloaded online, via the CD drive. Meaning, free, unlimited games! Haw! The power adapter for it was fried so I went to SLS with sebas the other day to buy a replacement. It's a little big, and I had to wire it up myself, but it works. The CD drive was fried too so I changed it for a spare CD writer I had lying around. It was sprayed black and the LED was changed to blue, both by me, back at a time when I was still into case mods. Sebas and I had a really good time playing mario tennis and super smash brothers, can't wait for the rest of TEG to try. It will be a great form of therapy for our band!

You completely missed the point

I believe I have the every right and reason to cling dearly to the memories of the past that led to the close friendship we have today. The days where I wasn't even playing the guitar yet. The days where we were all roadies. How we worked like dogs to get miserable pay to buy our guitars. What's wrong with clinging on to our closely forged companionship? I believe the memories we've had and the shit we've been thru were more than just perspectives. I look deep and I see of all the things me, jason and fi went thru, since the day we started playing counter strike together in the atrium every day. The teriyaki sandwiches we ate every day at the atrium. The 14 pratas me and fi gulped down 10 minutes before class. The gatherings at canteen 2 where we drank kopi peng and philosophised about the world. Then I see the shit you're putting fi through. The way you see our band, our family. This is why we don't welcome you back.

No time is only an excuse. You think you are the only one busy? Can anyone in the band be busier than me? And yet I can still find time to talk to everyone, even if it's for a quick supper after work, or on the phone on the way home, or on msn once I reach home. Msn is an impersonal mean? Then why can the rest of TEG communicate through it, and not you? At least we try to squeeze every little second of our time out of our busy schedule to talk to each other, to know what's going on, even if it has to be msn. And msn has been the very way we communicate and understand each other for the longest time, way before we even started jamming. It's clear cut, we bother, we care.

You didn't do anything to fuck the band up? You didn't directly fuck us up. You fucked someone up in the band which indirectly fucked the whole band up. Things you said after the whole thing fucked us up further. Everyone is upset. You don't know, or don't care. You blame others. Before you blame anyone again, have you talked to any one of us to know how we feel, besides fi? TEG is not just fi alone you know. There are 3 other members.

And you and your bullshit about bringing the band this far. I've never wanted to pursue it but since now that you want to bring it up, I'll give it to you. What have you done to improve on our skill? Our tightness? Our chemistry? Have you made jason play on timing and get the band to play together? Have you made sure wan nails every single note on beat with jason? Have you made sure the 2 guitarists play every single riff and solo well, and harmonise in tune? How well we play has been the hard work, effort and passion of every single individual in the band. You alone brought us this far? Think again.

Next, I don't think we are anywhere. Playing at 2 gigs doesn't make us god. We are nothing. Gigs? Contacts? Fuck, you only got us 2 gigs. Through kx. And you think kx only knows you? I'm not interested about gigs, or fame. I play music for the music and the for the togetherness of my band. When we get a gig, all I think about is that I'm there to entertain the crowd with my best pals and make them feel as good as what I'm feeling when I play. I was invited by a friend, and I shall not let him or his audience down. Scene? Contacts? What scene, what contacts? Who actually knows us, and supports us, besides our own personal friends?

Seriously, who wants to play with you? I don't want to bother with a person that screws with the band's chemistry, one who thinks that she's almighty and all important. By the way, everyone who saw our gig video said we needed a new singer. So much for standing out and being associated with the band. Once again don't think too highly of yourself. We aren't maimed or handicapped. This ordeal is just going to bring us closer. Far from being handicapped. Good riddance to bad rubbish?

And of course there are other bands dying to have you in their band. Sex sells. And of course we don't have singers dying to join us. The songs we play aren't easy to sing.

Last of all, I created this blog for me to reflect my feelings. Not to flame people. You were the very person in my mind I was pissed at while I was reflecting, that's why the post came out that way. You think I want to fight with you? I'm not so boliao loh. You can flame me back all you want. You have proven my point. Once again, if you haven't realised, TEG is more than just a band. It's a group of closest friends. And you're not invited.

[01:15:47] [sanxp] says:
the band is supposed to be for us to chill after every week
[01:15:58] [sanxp] says:
to unravel, to talk to each other, and just play our hearts out
[01:16:12] [sanxp] says:
not another burden in our already burdened life

Thank you for fucking up our band. It was really nice of you to. Your recklessness is causing the pain of 4 guys. Well done. Selfish? You bet.

Dude, remember, the days where we hung out to play guitar, playing guitar in school, playing phantom at the underground tunnel at esplanade, playing at my place, playing at your place, screwing up seok's song, buying our electric guitars together, chilling out, thinking of what to do with our band, going to jam, forming up our band, all these shit

before SHE came along

Don't tell me you're thinking of quitting now because of her. I'm not going to accept it. I'm not going to accept you saying or thinking that SHE was YOUR drive in playing the guitar, and not me, your best friend, or the band, your closest buddies. She should NEVER be in the equation at all. Honestly, she did not do *ANYTHING* for your playing. She was just your girlfriend. Ya, you might have played for her, or with her, and it was really sweet of you, but it's OVER now. Think back to your roots. Think back to the guys. Your brothers. Us. We were called Us. Before all these shit. We had fun. We still can.

Honestly, I regret it now. I regret it so much, that I knew her, that I pulled her into the band, that I let her break up with me to be with fi.

Anyway, I have decided. I disagree with her joining back with the band. I was the only one that was alright with her coming back. I changed my mind. "I would join you guys back without any hesitation, if you guys ever asked." You think too highly of yourself. "..you guys are moving on and searching for others instead of me." Instead of you? Once again, you think too highly of yourself.

Before you think of something rash to respond to that, think about this. Have you talked to us about this. Have you respected us enough as friends or bandmates to discuss with us what is going on between you and fi.

Boring day

Boring sia today. I spent most of my day sleeping in the office. Come home, nobody online. Siaaaaannn. Only one sebas and one jason. And both like maciam busy. Then want to play guitar also sian, want to play psp also sian, then online also nothing to read. Maybe cos I'm waiting for her call/sms/msn message that might not even come. Why ah, why like that. Yk, yk..

Anyway, I confessed to her today. Dunno if it's a good or bad thing, time will tell. Hope it's good..

I've found myself again.. Finally..

Some might know, I actually miss myself a lot. Not in a sick or self loving way, but I just feel that I wasn't myself for the longest time ever, because of work, past relationships, stress, and the inability to handle stress.. And today, for the 1st time in a long time, I actually spoke from the bottom my heart, reminding myself what life is all about and how I would love to live life, all while trying to guide a lost friend of mine.. The guidance and support I gave to her was basically what I needed for myself, what I was looking for, and the answer was in me all these while.. I haven't been so deep for so long, I've always been handling things on the surface, losing touch with my inner self.. But today, I'm finally me, after preping myself up yesterday while hanging out with sebas, and letting it all out today while hanging out with fi, bass, seoker and cin. Love you guys.. You guys bring out the true YK in me.. Now the only person missing is Jason.. haha.. When oh when will we all be free at the same time?

I've been cold and heartless for quite some time because of all the people I hang out with in camp.. They will mock and laugh at me if I ever have any deep thoughts, and all they think about is themselves and the image they portray to others. They just want to look cool and happenning. All very fake. I'll be distancing myself from them from now, actually I already have for some time. It's a good thing. I must not let them affect me.

Anyway, I really enjoyed myself today, it was like how I chilled with my pals while I was still in poly, except with the freedom of expenditure and travel. Even though I feel the re-bond is not quite there yet at first, but it's almost there, at least towards the end of our chill. A few more chill sessions and I bet life will be back like it was before, a carefree 4-5 hours at the end of a long and tiring work day, unraveling to each other and pondering on the meanings of life and just being deep..

We got to do this again. More often in fact. And we need to come up with new ideas and places to chill! Suggestions?

And to a particular her.. Do think about what I smsed you.. ya?

The vids of the gig are up!

The vids of the gig @ The Vintage are finally up! Extracted, converted and cut by yours truly. Go watch them now! @ http://the-eisen-guards.blogspot.com/

YK's no longer too lazy to keep a blog! Yippie! Now, I'm too lazy to design it. Someone help me? Please? :D