Been troubled recently.. About my studies. Haven't been doing too well.. Actually that's an understatement, I actually am not catching ANY ball at all. Physics and maths. My weakest subjects in secondary school, are back to haunt me now. Digital Design, a module I was quite good at during poly, is not very good now either. The only thing I can do is programming, but I'm in Electrical Engin, not Computer Engin or Computer Science. I'm basically screwed. I've been harbouring thoughts of quitting school and focusing on music but that will not go well with my folks. I'm lost.. I know if I'm gonna focus on my studies I got to stop playing music, but that's not something I will give up so easily. As an engineer my future is more or less secured, I will be able to put food on the table, live a comfortable life, make sure my baby is well taken care of..
I don't want her to suffer because of me. I know I'm thinking too far.. But I need to know if TEG will go all the way with me. Some form of assurance, somewhat. As we grow older we need to think of how we're going to survive. I'm turning 22 already. Now's not the time to sit around and see what happens in the future. That time is long over.
All these are happening because of all the constant pressure from my dad about getting a degree and shit.. But that's not what I want. I can't think straight because of all these external factors and pressure from everywhere.. Everyone's looking at me. I cannot afford to fail in life. If I become successful in music no one can say anything. But what if I don't? I can't see myself being successful in music if I have to juggle school and music.. I can't do well in both. It's either.. and my dad wants to see a degree.
I know it's my life and my choices.. but sometimes in life you live for others..
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