oops

:P Haven't been updating for a bit.

Let's see what has been going on.. Not much actually, fi went to taiwan and back, sebas went to china and back, jammed twice this month, work's picking up and i'm going to ord soon, i'm moving on.. Yea. Hope that things will work out. :)

OH and i learnt a new thing. Vodka makes me piss assed drunk VERY easily. And without me even knowing it. I have some sort of a phobia of that thing now after monday.. I feel queasy smelling that thing now. Darn. I used to love it. =\

Hey me

Hey, it's alright man. I understand. But hey, you know i'll always be here. Unless i die la. When you are ready, in the distant future, i hope you will give me a chance. I hope it's not too much to ask for.

"Love is always patient and kind."

And once again i believe i am entitled to my own opinions, more so on my own blog. I'm not even pushing my opinion to other people or to tagboards of others' blogs. And also, you might understand what is going on between them, but do you understand what i think and feel? Guess not.

Ever wondered how great it would be to be able to turn back time?

I know it's impossible, and too perfect a life with this ability will probably ruin it, as life is always about ups and downs, but if ever, a person, or me, could turn back time and just change one thing. Something i should or should not have done. What will things be like now?

We all know turning back time is impossible. Since that is the case, is there something i can do now such that the result would be the same, or similar, as if i could change the past? Sometimes i can't help but regret. But regretting won't change anything.

That being said. People who give you up are weakshit fuckass morons with dickheads for brains. They just don't see how special you are. They don't see how much they mean to you, and in that, you are special.

So much so that you spend a whole day in town racking your brains on what to get him, being so happy and optimistic about how he will accept your gift. And that he couldn't be bothered about it the moment he saw it and would rather care more about himself, completely trashing you, breaking you. And you still forgo all the evil he has done to you, and you still want him back.

Now i realise what how it was like when you bought or made gifts for me, how much effort and hope you put in each and every one of them, how much you just wanted to see me happy. And how i would brush them aside without much thought. How much pain i used to cause you. And that you still stuck with me all the way, through all the shit i put you through. "Love is not resentful." Till one day i thought you would be better off with someone else, someone that would appreciate you, treat you better, but this person, you could not love.

I want to make it up to you. Go back to the life before. Before all the shit happened. With a me from now. I know i'm not special to you anymore. I was once, i was still for a while, but not anymore. I blew it. I know. I was dumb, blind and deaf. All I ask for now is one chance. The same chance you are asking from him. I've always wanted you back. I just didn't know how. I probably still don't. I've said mean words once, ok maybe FUCKING mean words, but fuck, if i seriously meant any of it, i won't be doing any of this now.

1 chance. Let me prove it to you.

To sum it up

Impatient, lazy, take things for granted, take advantage, stubborn, bad tempered.

Ok la maybe i was too pissed that day to have posted that. I will support my parents, cos they brought me up. But i still hate having to do and get everything the hard way. They say you will appreciate it more if you have to work hard for things and get them the hard way but seriously, everytime i work hard for something, i feel like shit after, cos i've wasted too much of time on it and there is still more beyond that and i'm too tired to continue. I mean things within means that you can give, give la. Then let me work on other things that you can't give. Rather than you have but don't want to give, then i go find out myself, go work for it myself, and i will be too bogged and tired to bother about anything else. I'm not the kind of person that takes things for granted. I like to take what there is, work on it and improve, and not work from ground up all over and get to the same level as everyone else.

Is it just me or do parents have this sick fetish of dashing their kids' dreams?

Take me for example. My dad has never been supportive of me wanting to be a musician. He wants me to get a degree, get a job, bla bla bla. I'm not interested. Never mind about that. Then I wanted a studio at home where my band can jam. My parents promised me a room for me to jam in but after the house was renovated, all was forgotten. I had to painstakingly remind them that they really did promise me and I wasn't pulling anything out of thin air. Never mind. Then came the floor. After the floor was sanded, my dad told me, "If I see a scratch on the floor, no more jamming at home, and you move ALL the equipment out." So, now your fucking floor is more important than your son's future as a musician. Great. Then just yesterday, my dad said, "No more jamming at home. The neighbours are complaining." Just like that. After spending all our money and time on the studio my dad can just push it all aside with a "the neighbours are complaining". He didn't even give me an alternative. He just doused the fire. I had to churn my head for solutions like considering renting factory space or something to set up a studio. Then I asked my mom a question, if the band needed a sum of money, for startup, or whatever, would she help, and all she said was, "See how first. If your proposal is attractive I may help you." I dunno la, but if i have a kid in the future and he needs any help for whatever endeavor, i will definitely do my best and help him as much as i can.

I suddenly feel so unloved. I think i'm born suay. Looks like i got do everything the hard way. But rest assured if i ever get rich in the future on my own steam my parents are not getting any of it. Simply because they refused to help.

Woo hoo!

I've rekindled my love for guitar playing! After not giving a shit to playing the guitar for a few months, I'm back! And now the feeling is stronger than ever! I'm going to buy a new amp in may or june, then a new guitar (custom) hopefully by the time I ORD, and dunno what else I will gian in the future.. Any way, I'm done playing with my car after the next month.

I'm dumb.

I was trying to make brunch for myself today. An egg sandwich. Which consists of a fried egg, bread and other stuff. I STUPIDLY fried the egg sunny side up. Waaaa nicee, till i started eating the sandwich. You can guess what happened next.

Ok. Someone complained that my blog has not been updated in a while. I lazy la. Anyway.

LAST WEEK WAS GREAT!!!

Fucking good. Wednesday. BBQ at my place before jason's flight. Eat like pigs we did. Had wine too! Muahahaha. We're fucking leet la. People bbq use plate and fan. We used a REAL fan. And we had a 2.1 system blasting the hell out of the neighbours. HEH.



Food was fucking good and cooked pretty well except that the chicken weren't thawed very thoroughly as it was a bit of a rush.



Guess what this is? It's a fucking funky concoction made by yours truly. BBQ sauce, mayo and a dash of honey. And it tasted like HEAVEN.



We had a lot of food.

The fire was dying out so I evened out the coals and added more. Turned the fan to full and:



Ichibabo.

After eating we chilled around and sang in my room till my mom almost wanted to kill me. Or us. Dunno. Next.

Friday. Worked from home, so I didn't have to go back to camp. Hit quota in 1 day. Sent jason off at the airport, met sebas and went to the IT fair for a bit before meeting up with alene for dinner and a chill.



Saturday, COS, slept the whole fucking day. Shiok. Tried armored core but not my thing. I feel like selling my psp. $350, anyone?

Sunday, fi came over and we played guitar the whole day. SHIOK AH. Learned 2 new songs. Gonna surprise jason when he returns. HEH. In the evening we went down to esplanade cos fi wanted to buy a guitar. Fucking esplanade dun let me park la! Cos i got no mosaic ticket. Sluts. Anyway, fi got himself a Maestro guitar. MAESTRO OK. $200 only. Great action, nice sound. Power. We then ate a quickie at macs and went to alene's to watch flags of our fathers. Nice show. Prequel to 2 letters from 1wo jima.

Monday, HAIRCUT! I so desperately needed one cos my hair was so long a center parting was forming. Almost back to my old hairstyle. Haven't take picture la, maybe later.

And finally today. I bought a bottle of cool water. Heh. The legendary lady killer. Or so they say. For $39 ONLY!!! There's this shop at lucky plaza (actually there are others) that sell testers at 1/2 the price when you get it at the store. And testers are also more concentrated. Fucking bang for buck. There are many other fragrances also, all the common ones they have in tangs and isetan and taka and what not. So you can just walk thru tangs, smell, pick what you like and go to lucky and buy. Heh. :D Damn cheapo right. Heck.

Work has been good too, nothing much to rave about, nothing much is being owed. Swee. Hope the week and the weeks to come stay this way. I like.

Bro..

You show it man. I knew at BK that you're going to say something already :P And I've always been trying to hit on girls what. And I've never been good at it, heh. I don't really club often la. Only if someone asks me if not I won't bother. And even if I do sebas will be with me. If it makes you feel better I don't really enjoy myself when I club, just that I make the best out of it when I'm there. Clubbing is a skill every chinese must have to survive in the society. I just go there to learn what to do and see what others do. I would rather be hanging out with you than being at some club but you're on deployment most of the time. And for thursday, I've already told ryan I'm going and he got me tickets already. Anyways, dun worry about me, won't die one. :D Things will be back to normal soon. Thanks for the concern bro :)

Friend test!

Since everybody seems to be doing one, I should join in the fun! It's a really easy test cos I can't really think of what to put in..


Create your own Friend Quiz here

Disappointed

I'm disappointed that you are actually keeping a distance from me just cos you think i can't get over you. I AM over you. Since a long time back. And this isn't the way to treat a person you've been friends with for so long. Can't you just talk to me about it? You've always avoided the topic. Things won't go away with you pretending it doesn't exist. What do you treat your friends as? People that you talk to only when you're bored? Are we just for your entertainment that you can just blindly push away when you don't need us? We have feelings too you know. You're funny and interesting on the outside but your inner self just disgusts me completely. How many times have you fallen for someone while still being attached? I shan't say more.

Ear piercing

Tadah!



Anyways. Had a movie screening at my place last night, jason, wan, aaron, alene, pong and sebas came down. Jason and wan left early (after dinner) and sebas reached after the both left. Watched pan's labyrinth and children of men, both very "huh?" movies. Word of warning: pan's labyrinth is not a fantasy show, it's a war film. And a very sub par one at that.

Cheese!

At my place while waiting for my darling to come home. Sebas, alene and me. We were at orchard the whole evening, did my eyebrows, sebas and alene did some shopping, and I got an ear piercing. Heh.

Tiong chia!

My ZC31S has a new friend. That's a simota cold air intake, and it makes my car go PORHHHHHHH..... Shiok! =D More power after 2.5k RPM. Installed it on friday, before going to seok's gig. Poor alene was waiting at NUS till like 7+ 8 cos of me.. So sorry alene..

And during the installation jason was so bored he decided to take a shit:



Heh. Caught in the act. Tried the sprint booster too, it's FREAKING AWESOME! Really makes the car fly. Too bad it's like $380 if not i would have bought it too.

And of course.. A bit late.. But anyway.. HCNY TO ONE AND ALL! HUAT AH!

:)

I have learnt today, to treasure what I have. My closest friends, my dearest of possessions, and my life. Never again will I risk my life, talk or think about ending it, as today I learn how important I am to my closest. I will also treasure them, as they were the only ones that I have pulled through thick and thin together, pain and pleasure, love and hate. I will protect you all with all I have, and all I can.

And to her, I befriended you with the foolish hope of being with you again, just like before, hoping that you will change for the better and put down your ugly past, and be the happy couple we were before. But your choice was not the same as mine, so today, after a week of war with myself, I've decided to stop cheating myself, for my sanity. I can't bear to see you like this, but it's your life, your freedom. I wish you all the best in life, with clemence, and all the choices you make. Take care. I still love you. I will still accept you. But now, it's all up to you.

I smell gunpowder..

I better siam jit bin..

But actually. Relax la. I think sometimes people should sit down and talk to each other to better understand a situation or person without putting in (too much) emotions.

Fight for what. Make things worse only.

Make love, not war..

I love you mom..

I love my mom so much.. When I came home upset I didn't even have to say a word.. She knew and she gave me a big hug..

It's true that blood is thicker than water..

Love you mom..

(emo sia.)

Love this show..

Clementine: I'm not a concept Joel I'm just a fucked up girl looking for my own piece of mind. I'm not perfect.
Joel: I can't see anything I don't like about you
Clementine: But you will!
Joel: I can't..
Clementine: But you will.. You know, you will think of things. And I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me.
Joel: *shrugs* Ok.
Clementine: Ok..

- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Sian

Feels so weird to be not at the office. No, I didn't AWOL, there's some stupid company cohesion later, and we just have to go there straight. And I'm feeling so restless now, I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something but I'm not. Yes, I've got work due. No, I can't do it now. Got to wait till thurs cos the cohesion is 3 days long. CHEESEBUN! Am I becoming a workaholic? Oh noes. Speaking of which I haven't been playing the guitar cos of work, shopping and staying out till late. Jialat.

And then cb I wake up at 9am. I felt like I slept like bloody forever and when I wake up it's only 9. And she didn't call me. :( Maybe she forgot.. Oh well. I deserve it anyway, for what I have done in the past. It's just retribution.